| sooo |
[Oct. 4th, 2009|04:22 pm] |
i got a new apartment.
was living on a couch for 4 months, supposed to leave town. in a vibrant house of which i will always be a member. boyfriend got hit by a car, not leaving town anymore.
now we have a place, all to ourselves and our pets. much better part of town. work consumes life however, as mundane and banal as it is.
i simply hope that someday there will be a change and motivation will overtake me, i will be rejuvenated and alive again.
not saying that i'm dead. just muted right now as i'm worn down with the work-a-day world. there is joy however:
tiny hairless rat with breathing problems who i am nursing to health with the help of my love an echinacea herbs
my birthday at the end of the month
a beer after work?
my feet itch. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2009|02:51 pm] |
sometimes in the morning, i feel petrified and can't move
awake but cannot open my eyes.
and the weight is crushing down on my lungs, you know i can't breathe
and hope someone will save me this time.
and your mother's still calling you, insane and high
swearing that it's different this time.
and you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
that god never blessed her insides.
then you hang up the phone, and feel badly for upsetting things
crawl back into bed to dream of a time:
when your heart was open wide, and you loved things "just because"
like the sick, and the dying.
and sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on!
and your friends they sing along and they love you.
but the lows are so extreme, that the good seems fucking cheap
and it teases you for weeks in it's absence.
but you'll fight it! and you'll make it through!
and you'll fake it, if you have to
and you'll show up for work with a smile.
you'll be better, you'll be smarter
more grown up, and a better daughter or son
and a real good friend
you'll be awake you'll be alert, you'll be positive though it hurts
and you'll laugh and embrace all your friends.
you'll be a real good listener
you'll be honest, you'll be brave
you'll be handsome, and you'll be beautiful.
you'll be happy.
your ship may be coming in, you're weak but not giving in
to the cries and the wails of the valley below
your ship may be coming in, you're weak but not giving in
and you'll fight it
go out fighting all of them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 15th, 2009|07:37 pm] |
armpit hair. how do you feel?
please tell me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 13th, 2009|11:08 am] |
i have been eating beans everyday
that is probably why i almost just pooped my pants at work |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 20th, 2008|02:54 pm] |
hungover!
weiner pimple!! gah! |
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groaninginnards's journal